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Setting a Boundary
Not applicable
Warm

Setting a boundary with a coworker who messages after hours

A colleague sends non-urgent messages at night and expects fast replies.

Strategy

Set the rule, not the grievance. Give them a clear escalation path for real emergencies so the boundary does not read as unavailability.

Quick thing about how we work together. I am offline after seven most nights. I will see anything you send, but I will answer in the morning. If something is genuinely on fire, call me. A call means urgent, a message means tomorrow.

If they push back

If they push back that things move fast: "Agreed, and the call line is there for exactly that. What I want to avoid is both of us treating everything as urgent."

What not to say

  • You need to respect my time
  • Do you know what time it is
  • I am not paid enough for this
  • Sorry, I am just really bad at boundaries

Follow-up

Just closing the loop on last night's question — answer is yes, and I updated the doc. Call anytime it is truly urgent.

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