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Critical Feedback
Manager
Calm

Giving critical feedback to someone who gets defensive

A report shuts down or argues every time you raise a performance concern.

Strategy

Name the pattern once, hand them the data, then make the conversation about the fix instead of the fault. Defensiveness drops when the person can see a path out.

I want to give you feedback, and I want it to land as help, not as an attack. In the last three client calls, the deck went out after the meeting started. The client mentioned it twice. I am not looking for an explanation right now. I am looking for what changes so it does not happen on Thursday.

If they push back

If they argue the facts: "You may be right about the cause. Let us put that aside and agree on the outcome I need, then we can work backward on what got in the way."

What not to say

  • You always do this
  • People have been complaining about you
  • I hate having to have this conversation
  • No offense, but

Follow-up

Appreciate you staying in that conversation. You own the deck landing 24 hours ahead for Thursday. I will check in Wednesday morning.

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